Consecutive Conveniences
by Easily Forgotten
Summary: The Nationals trophy is stolen! Who will claim it? It's going to be one massive fight for the win. Crack!


The stadium was filled with tension, no brow was dry, and all eyes were focused on the tennis match between "The Child of God", Yukimura Seiichi, and "Samurai Junior", Echizen Ryoma.

The two had been engaged in a never-ending tiebreaker for four hours. Yes, that's right, four hours. Both Yukimura and Echizen had completely unfair, physics defying, Mary Sue-like tennis skills and stamina, so a four-hour long tiebreaker was perfectly plausible.

While everyone was preoccupied by this impossible match, Higa, the school that few people remember and no one cares about, was planning to steal the Nationals trophy. Oh no! Everyone who had actually heard of Higa knew that they were cheaters.

Kite Eishirou, the captain, yes, Higa has a captain, was walking down the hallway with the trophy in his hands. If you forgot about Kite, you shouldn't feel bad for forgetting his name. The writer of this story had to look it up herself, so you're in good company.

Anyhow, Kite was walking down the hall with the trophy in his hands when he spotted the tennis police! He stashed the trophy in a conveniently placed broom closet and started whistling because if he were caught he would go directly to jail without passing 'Go' and without collecting two hundred dollars!

The tennis police fell for Kite's "innocent whistling kid" act, but when the closet door opened, the trophy was gone. It had fallen down a vent of some sort that was even more conveniently than the broom closet had been.

Down, down, down, zoomed the trophy until it came to a halt upon the head of an unsuspecting tennis player.

"Owwww!!! That hurt!" Kintaroh, a young tennis prodigy from Shitenhouji was knocked flat onto his back by the shiny Nationals trophy that his school had previously been trying to win. "Gah! I spy with my little eye a clock! I'm late! Shiraishi is going to kill me with his poison claws!" While Kintaroh was a prodigy when it came to tennis, he didn't have much common sense and ran away as fast as possible, leaving the Nationals trophy in the dust.

* * *

"Hmm? What's this?" A strange looking boy wearing an "I Love Hanamura-sensei" tee shirt walked up to the shiny Nationals trophy. " It's the Nationals trophy! If I brought it to Hanamura-sensei, would she be impressed? What if she's not impressed? What should I do…?" The odd boy's even odder musings were interrupted by his cell phone ringing to the song "Right Here Waiting for You" by Richard Marx, who is coincidentally not related to the author of this story, nor does the author of this story own the song, so don't sue.

"Reiji! Where are you? I cannot create a masterpiece if my specimen isn't here! Go to the tennis courts immediately!"

"Yes, Hanamura-sensei! Right Away!" And thus, the boy named Reiji ran off to the tennis courts to see his beloved Hanamura-sensei without giving the shiny Nationals trophy another thought.

" A tennis trophy, what loser would want that?" The next representative from a random tennis team was Akutsu from Yamabuki. Apparently, Akustu was the only person in Japan who wasn't obsessed with tennis. However, he did have a certain fondness for causing trouble and buried the trophy at a random beach that was conveniently located nearby.

Also very conveniently, Rokkaku was having fun playing in the sand at said random beach.

"I love sea activities!" shouted the entirety of Rokkaku, AT THE SAME TIME!

"Oh? It seems as if a _wave_ of good fortune is here." _Bang!_ Amane Hikaru was smacked in the head by his friend Bane, again. Bane claimed he only smacked Amane because of the lame puns he said, but Bane was secretly going for the world record of smacking someone in the head and Amane was just a convenient target.

"It's the Nationals trophy!" said Kisarazu Ryou, just so he could make an appearance.

"What should we do with it?" asked Itsuki, who also wanted to be mentioned. "If we take it back to the stadium it will interrupt our sea activities."

"Kentarou should do it since he's the only freshman." Yeah… Saeki just hated Kentarou for stealing his captainship.

"But I'm the captain!"

"Majority rules!"

And so Kentarou was stuck returning the sandy Nationals trophy.

Conveniently for the freshman and therefore less cool captain, Mizuki and Yanagisawa from St. Rudolph just happened to be walking by. Of course since Mizuki was a creepy little boy who liked to plot nefarious little schemes, he automatically noticed the not quite as shiny Nationals trophy and decided to steal it from Kentarou.

"Hello Aoi-kun."

"Ummmm, who are you?" Unlike Seigaku or Rikkai Dai, St. Rudolph wasn't very popular. Translation: nobody in the tennis scene cared about anyone in St. Rudolph, except for Yuuta, since he was related to Fuji.

"I'm Mizuki Hajime from St. Rudolph. I just thought that it was horribly unfair that your teammates forced the task of returning the Nationals trophy onto you."

"How did you know they forced me to do it?"

Ouch! That was a nasty miscalculation on Mizuki's part. He never thought that someone would notice him stalking various tennis players or question his data. He had figured that if Yanagi and Inui could do it, then he could too. Unfortunately, he forgot that Yanagi and Inui are relatively cool, while he is not.

"Ummm… That's not important. My friend and I are heading towards the stadium anyway, so I thought it might be helpful if we returned the trophy for you."

Since Kentarou was such a gullible little boy he believed Mizuki's obvious lie and handed over the still not quite as shiny Nationals trophy. When Kentarou had skipped away happily to rejoin his teammates in their sea activities, Mizuki handed the trophy to Yanagisawa to hold while he did his "My Plan Actually Worked" pose. Conveniently for the not so shiny trophy, Yanagisawa had the grace of a duck and tripped, sending the not so shiny trophy flying. Of course, when Mizuki saw Yanagisawa lose the trophy he was mad.

"Why am I stuck with you as my lackey?" he lamented.

"Because Yuuta and Atsushi are making out in broom closet."

* * *

The trophy that wished it were shiny sailed through the air and conveniently landed on the seats of a limousine after falling through the sunroof.

"Ow. Yuushi, something is poking me!"

"Shut up, Gakuto."

"Yuushi!!!"

"Fine."

Oshitari Yuushi opened the door an unceremoniously shoved the not shiny Nationals trophy outside without so much as glancing at it. Fortunately, or unfortunately for the trophy, I'm not quite sure which, it left the limo right before many… muffled sounds escaped… Now is the time for you to let your imaginations run wild.

* * *

"Look! This conveniently placed trophy will make a perfect offering to the Great and Powerful Tachibana!"

"Kamio, it's dirty. Something that doesn't shine shouldn't be used as an offering to Tachibana-san. Tachibana-san deserves something that shines like the sun. Don't you remember everything he's done for us since-"

"Alright, I get it, just shut up already Shinji! We'll shine it before we take it to Tachibana-san."

"You really didn't have to tell me to shut up. It would have worked just as well to politely ask me to stop talking. I don't talk that much anyway, so you shouldn't need to ask me to stop talking. Why are you-"

Thank you Ibu Shinji. We're going to cut him off there for fear of running out of paper.

Kamio and Shinji started shining the Nationals trophy while they walked along the yellow brick road. They were on a journey to see the Great and Powerful Tachibana in hopes that he would grant them some courage and grip tape. Kamio wanted the courage to ask out Tachibana's little sister and Shinji needed the grip tape because Echizen stole the one he had wanted. Conveniently for the once again shiny Nationals trophy, Kamio tripped and the trophy went flying. That seemed to be happening a lot that day, but the shiny Nationals trophy didn't care. It was convenient.

As the trophy wandered along the skies, Yasuyuki Kiraku happened to notice it. Now, I bet you're wondering who the heck Yasuyuki Kiraku is. Don't worry he's another random side character from an unpopular tennis team! There is no need to feel bad about not knowing who he is. He's yet another character the author of this story had to look up, but just in case, he is assumed to be the captain of Midoriyama, a loser school whose characters didn't even make the search bar. Try to find them, you won't ... probably.

While I was explaining the unimportance of Kiraku, he was busy watching the shiny Nationals trophy and thinking about the wonderful opportunity he had to claim said shiny Nationals trophy. However, as soon as he picked it up, the tennis police who haven't appeared since the beginning decided to show up and be useful. Why didn't they notice the trophy was gone earlier? It wasn't convenient at that point in time.

In the end the shiny Nationals trophy was returned, Yukimura and Ryoma were still playing tennis, and no one noticed that anything mentioned above ever happened. Oh well, all's well that ends well…conveniently.

* * *

**Author's Note: Well that was utter crack. Woohoo! I'm not a dead writer! Reviews of any kind are welcomed! The whole sea activities thing with Rokkaku is credited to Link and Luigi whom I will shamelessly advertise for.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing familiar.**


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